In pursuit of finding belongingness.

I came from a huge family in the Philippines. Born poor to middle class, but with parents who worked hard to provide a better life. When one parent was gone, the other had to step into a role never meant for her shoulders. That showed me something powerful:

As women, we often accept what we think we deserve and tolerate what we believe we must.

This is where my pursuit of belonging and ‘home’ truly began;
an ache to be understood, seen, and loved simply for who I am, with no expectations.
It became a powerful pull that pushed me to venture into the unknown.

The Coincidence That Led Me Home

In 2023, while in Uluwatu, Bali, my visa was ending. I wasn’t ready to return to the Philippines, so I thought about Vietnam without any clear plan. Then, in a beautiful coincidence, a young French woman I’d met earlier in Bali sent me a message.
She was in Vietnam and shared what she’d found there.

I still remember asking her over breakfast in Amed, Bali: “What makes you happy? What do you want to do?” She smiled and simply said, “I just want to be me.”

That answer planted something deep in me.
A short yet profound friendship, one of those rare connections that marks your path.

I first landed in Saigon for five difficult days, but eventually followed her to Hội An. The moment I arrived, it was as if a missing piece of my puzzle had finally clicked into place

Grounding in Hội An

In Hội An, I stayed in a hostel, a beautiful one, after living alone in Bali I craved people, built routines I had long dreamed of: waking with the sunrise, practicing yoga, meditating, eating nourishing food, working online, and connecting with people who spoke beyond the surface. It felt beautiful and grounding.

Yet, it was also a transient space, people came and went. Eventually, loneliness crept in during the holiday season. For the first time in eight years, I decided to return to the Philippines to spend it with my family.

Still, a quiet promise formed in my heart:

“I will come back to Hội An. I don’t know when, but I know I will come back here again.”

Home as a Choice

And here I am now, almost a year later, still in this space. I’ve created connections with people I chose, a chosen family, and a life consciously built around my values.

The first months were hard. The rainy season tested me daily. I kept asking, “Why am I here?” Should I just go back in Philippines? I should just book a ticket going to Bali and go back to Amed. What am I doing here, it´s freaking raining and I am not enjoying." The weather made me restless. But I fought through with self-care, laughter, and the comfort of the locals especially the family who ran the homestay where I stayed. In them, I found sisters and warmth. I was also helping Trang the owner of the homestay facilitate
Hoi An Clean up and volunteer to read books with kids in a library that fed my soul so much despite all the chaos.

It was a tough internal battle, but I kept reminding myself why I was here: to ground, to land, and to build meaningful connections while growing my online business. My mind was in chaos, clients were slipping away, plans were shifting, and it felt like part of my wings had been clipped. Yet, through all the darkness and uncertainty, I held on to my intention and chose to stay. I fought for it, sat with it even though I was ready to run again, because that was more familiar. But I didnt.

A deep part of my soul chose Hoi an, and when I chose l can be so stubborn with it despite how tough it gets because it feels so right in the heart even though the mind was so unsettled and chaotic, I just tend to listen to it and let it be, because I also know it´s just afraid of what´s coming next. What´s next?

When the rains passed, I realized I had passed the test too. I was grounded. I had found my home.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and they will always be a part of me.
But as a grown woman who has expanded and chosen differently, I now have something that feels like mine. Out from a strong intention, love, patience, belief and facing the inner conflict of the old and new. I now grounded here, I dont know for how long but my heart is settled now.

A life that is authentically lived. A home I continuously say “yes” to.

I don’t know how long I’ll stay. But for now, Hội An, Vietnam is home

Belonging and the Human Journey

At its core, the longing for home is the longing to belong. It’s not only about a roof over our heads, but about the people, places, and spaces that remind us we are safe,
loved, and accepted for who we are.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow described this in his Hierarchy of Needs, where once our basic needs of food, water, and safety are met, we naturally seek love and belonging. This stage is not optional; it is essential to our growth. Without belonging, we remain restless, ungrounded, always searching. With it, we feel rooted enough to expand into esteem,
purpose, and self-actualization.

For me, finding home in Hội An has been more than just geography. It is the convergence of safety, connection, and alignment, a space where I can plant roots and bloom.
I can travel far elsewhere, but I got a place now that I can land with pure welcome and safety.

And perhaps that is what home truly is: not just where we live, but where we are free to grow into the fullest version of ourselves, while knowing we belong.

Searching Across Borders

If you’re the kind of person who never settles, a courageous one, the blacksheep, seeker,
that someone who always chasing the next big thing,
convinced that something better is out there. You know the feeling.
You grow, you change, and suddenly the world you knew no longer fits.
You feel ungrounded, like you don’t belong anywhere.
You keep searching for “home” outside yourself, moving, traveling,
hoping the next destination holds the answer.

This was my story when I started working online in 2022. For the first time, I had the freedom to choose where to land and build.

After living in four different countries, each tied to temporary visas, I met wonderful people but carried detachment in my heart. Why go deep if I knew I’d leave soon?
Why collect things when they’d only become a burden at the next border? Packing my stuffs in couple of luggages, it is so funny to look back how I am so used to the nomadic lifestyle and not even feel anything when it´s time to move. That´s how I learned detachment again and again because I had to move. I didnt had a choice since I refuse to marry for it just because.

I adopted minimalism and “less is more.” I learned to be present in fleeting moments because everything would eventually pass. Yet deep down, I longed for stability, a place to stop, rest, build my business, and form lasting connections. I long for a longterm space to be for now.

Exhausted from moving, I craved a place that felt right. A place my logic couldn’t explain but my soul would recognize.

Family, Cycles, and the Longing to Belong

They say; We don’t choose the family we are born into, but we can choose the family we build.
The moment we become conscious of the world, we gain the choice of who we call family; the freedom to decide who we spend our time and growth with.

Our family by blood gives us the foundation to become who we are as adults. But they too were born into families they did not choose, carrying wounds they never learned to release. Those pains and unhealed baggage ripple into how they respond to life, and how they raise the families they create which is all of us.

It’s a vicious cycle repeated across society.
Yet if you are seeking something different now, it’s because the cycle is meant to end with you.